Finding What Works for You

Women grow up with the narrative that their value is linked to their physical appearance, so it’s natural to lose some confidence when physical changes appear. According to menopause coach and educator Catherine O’Keeffe, “Menopause can be a deeply psychological time, with many women experiencing an impact on their self-confidence and self-esteem”.

I’m perimenopausal but have been lucky not to have experienced a lot of symptoms.  However, I’ve noticed my confidence disappearing at the same rate as my collagen, so I’ve tried to flip my focus from how my body looks to what it can do.

I lived in Spain for a year, and I’ve always been fascinated by flamenco dancing: the passion, the vigour, the colour and the noise.  However, I never gave learning it any real consideration. It was one of those things I thought I’d always watch from the sidelines but never do. It was the wake-up call of the pandemic that made me realise “if not now, when?”

Going For It

I took the plunge and signed up for Zoom-based lessons at Taller Flamenco, a dance school based in Seville.  I have passable Spanish and I decided I may as well take lessons from experts in ‘the home of flamenco’. I was assigned Lourdes Recio, a highly experienced dancer who has studied under some of the flamenco masters like Manolo Marín.

At first, I was so awkward and embarrassed that I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror as I danced. However, as the weeks went on, my skills, and my confidence, improved! When I eventually visited Seville, I arranged an in-person lesson with Lourdes and she arranged a short choreography that I could learn in two hours, based on the Tango of Triana. 

She told me this particular type of flamenco is all about being brazen and dancing “sin verguenza” (without shame or embarrassment).  By the end of our time together, I managed to point, strut and look in the mirror without falling over laughing. Not only was I taking on a new challenge (in my second language), but I was feeling good about just doing it.

The Benefits of Dancing in Midlife

Several studies have indicated that dancing can have profoundly beneficial effects on not just physical health, but brain function and even self-esteem.  A report published by the Australasian Menopause Society indicates that “dancing improves cholesterol levels, physical fitness, self-image, and self-esteem in postmenopausal women” and research suggests that dancing can hugely improve sedentary women’s mental health and quality of life.

Midlife is a time of profound physiological change, but with it comes great wisdom, self-awareness and an opportunity for growth. For me, I've found learning to dance has been life-affirming and more than anything, I'm having fun, proving you're never too old to learn new things. The gamechanger was understanding that being perfect isn’t the point; being present in the moment is.

Yoga is a is a holistic form of movement that consolidates the mind, body, breath and emotions. It can ease our symptoms of the menopause, make us feel better about ourselves and about the world around us.

How Does Yoga Fit in With Midlife?

When we think of yoga, we think of the words “gentle and slow”, but that is in relation to other forms of exercise. Yoga is not exercise. Yoga is movement, breathing, stillness and awareness: all of which give you a whole body and mind experience that other forms of exercise don’t. And because it’s an experience, it helps midlife women reassess their place in life. It helps them connect back to their passions and interests which had to be put on a back burner for years to pursue careers, raise children and make their way in life.

As for yoga being “gentle and slow” as a form of movement, this is exactly what midlife women who have not exercised in a while, need to ease back into exercise. Movement and exercise in midlife are important for so many reasons. Let’s explore how the decline in oestrogen in menopause affects the female body and how movement can help:

1) Menopause weakens bones, which can lead to osteoporosis: a condition where bones become thinner, frail and break easily. Osteoporosis negatively impacts our quality of life. Movement and exercise help keep bones strong.

2) Menopause causes a loss of muscle mass. Muscle mass impacts how the body burns calories. The combination of a slower metabolism (the rate at which the body burns calories) due to aging and the tendency of the menopausal body to hold onto fat means that some women gain weight in midlife. Through movement and exercise, we can maintain a level of muscle mass that helps the body burn calories more effectively.

3) Another benefit of yoga in midlife is its ease of access. It requires no equipment (a yoga mat is not compulsory, a carpet will do just as well), it uses your body weight as resistance and, thanks to the boom in online yoga, it can be done from the comfort and privacy of home.

Breathing techniques: most breathing techniques are calming and cooling which easily and quickly help to counteract the hot flushes or feelings of anxiety experienced in menopause. When feeling low or fatigued, energising breathing techniques can boost our mood and energy levels.

Meditation: with so much happening within us and around us in midlife, meditation is that haven of awareness and introspection which helps us keep the events in our life in perspective. Difficulty sleeping is another symptom of the menopause that many women struggle with. Meditation done before bedtime quiets the mind and lowers blood pressure setting us up for a restful sleep.

Asanas or yoga poses: we move in yoga by flowing from pose to pose to improve our agility, coordination and to tone our body. Or we can choose stillness in a pose to improve our balance, extend our range of motion, and strengthen our bones and muscles. In both cases, yoga poses are gentle on achy joints which is something many midlife women experience.

There is another aspect to yoga that not many people are aware of: you don’t need to spend a lot of time doing yoga to reap its benefits.

It’s not necessary to do a weekly hour-long yoga class if you don’t have the time for it. Yoga can easily be incorporated into daily life whether at home or when out. It can be done anywhere and anytime.

For example, cool down a hot flush with a quick and effective breathing technique. Do a balancing pose to clear the mind and feel refreshed. Release the day’s tension and sleep better with a number of yoga poses that will ease mind and body into relaxation.

Tree pose: it’s a standing balancing pose and we balance on one leg. This strengthens the muscles and bones of the standing leg and hip, which helps to prevent osteoporosis. It quiets a busy mind because, to balance, we can’t focus on anything other than balancing.

In addition, tree pose strengthens the parts of the brain that deal with balance and agility. This is important because we become more susceptible to falling as we age. Having good balance and being agile helps reduce the chances of falling and the risks associated with it.

Mountain pose: it is both a standing and a seated pose. It uncurls the spine, shoulders and chest. All of which curl forward naturally as we age. Mountain pose helps us avoid the stooped forward posture of aging. It also lifts the rib cage which gives the lungs space so that we can breathe better and more deeply.

When this happens, our immune system is boosted, and the brain gets more oxygen which can help with brain fog. Mountain pose also gives space to the digestive organs so that they can do their job more efficiently. Women in menopause complain of digestive issues and mountain pose can certainly help, as can the next pose.

Child’s pose: this is a restorative pose, and it is a good one to do before bedtime because it releases tension from the body and quiets the mind.  It is a gentle lower back and thigh stretch and, depending on the placement of the knees, an effective hip opener.

It’s perfect for anyone who spends a lot of time sitting. The placement of the arms, either stretched forward or beside the body, stretches different parts of the spine which resets the nervous system and brings the body to a state of calm. The forehead on a mat or cushion is pressing on an acupressure point which also calms the nervous system.

For 45-year-old Ange Brennan, cold-water swimming has been “absolutely life-changing”. Before taking it up, Ange suffered from hot flushes, night sweats, low moods and debilitating joint pain. She describes the moment she hits the water as ‘euphoric’ and ‘magical’. Her joint pain has vanished. “I used to not be able to open my left hand properly, but now I can, and I haven’t had a steroid injection for it in two years. I’m sleeping better, I don’t get oppressively hot anymore and I feel more energised. It really is transformative.”

This month marks a year since Natalie Sydey, aged 53, started dipping. She’s been perimenopausal for around five years and is adamant cold water alleviates the brain fog. “I’ve been struggling with feeling I’m not very good at my job. If you’ve been a capable woman who has made her mark in a male-dominated industry you want to hold onto that, but you start to doubt yourself when your head is all over the place.”

She’s in a much better place after acknowledging her diagnosis. Now taking steps to make her day-to-day a little easier, she says she wishes she’d had a better understanding of how menopause would affect her earlier in life.

Natalie isn’t alone in her ardour for cold water therapy. It seems pandemic-induced pool closures inspired thousands of people to take it up.

According to The Outdoor Swimming Society, soaring numbers of people across the globe now regularly immerse themselves in water below 15 degrees for the good of their mental health. I could wax lyrical about the joy of it as a wild swimmer myself, but it appears to be having an extremely profound effect on women going through menopause, with many reporting radical results because of it.

“I’m not surprised at all.” says OBGYN Dr Nuti Bajekal. “In menopause, your body is very sensitive to temperature fluctuations, so by exposing yourself to cold water you’re building up resistance to stressors that your body is subjected to when your hormone levels drop.

Scientifically it makes sense, but do we have all the evidence? Not yet, but that doesn’t mean we dismiss it. If it helps, you don’t have to wait for the science to catch up, do it. Just do it sensibly.”

Exercise and diet are hugely important for any ailments, it’s not any different for menopausal symptoms adds Dr Nuti. She believes an amalgamation of western medicine and holistic remedies like cold water swimming is our best armour for getting through this stage in life. “Nobody knows your body better than you, you’re the best advocate for yourself. It’s not one or the other, you mustn’t feel shame for choosing to use medication.

Equally, just because you’re taking HRT doesn’t mean lifestyle approaches aren’t important. You’ve got to work out what works for you.”

Incredibly, cold water therapy is enabling many women to feel ‘normal’ again. I was shocked to learn of the tribulations many women face when getting to the end of their periods, but less shocked to find that in true warrior-woman style, most are hunkering down, trivialising their endurances and soldiering on as best they can. It’s baffling that even in the 21st century menopause is still taboo.

The shroud of secrecy is even more embedded in cultures of ethnic minorities. It’s not helping anyone and although it’s slowly being demystified, it’s clear we have a long way to go.